3 years ago
The Road Home
God coming through for me. A theme in my life that I often overlook until it happens time and time again. When times are rough, when I don't know what to do anymore, when I'm at my wit's end, God never fails to show up and help me through whatever tough time I've been having at the moment. And even though I've kept it bottled up for the past month or so, the stress of having my folks leave, school starting, work becoming drama-full, Erin being away from me, and so many things all calling for my time and attention 24/7 has finally filled all the space I have to hold it, and I'm simply feeling completely overwhelmed. Yet as I was riding home from school, thinking over the message I'm going to give the Jr. Highers tonight, I started off on a tangent, and God really hit me with the realization that I've been doing it all on my own recently. I haven't fit Him into my schedule, I haven't asked Him for support or help through all this ridiculousness. And so when I got home, I sat and prayed for that. For God's hand in figuring this whole mess out. And while its nothing near being unsorted, He's given me a peace about my life. And I know that with Him, I can make it. Yet again, God has come through. And while it may not be an instant thing, I know He's here for the first time in a bit, helping me along. Picking up the pieces of my life that I simply cannot hold right now. He's always been there, but I never gave Him my burden to help me lift. I'm glad I moved over and gave Him a handhold though. I know that everything's going to be okay.
Overthinking
I've found my mind wandering to some pretty unpleasant places in the past few days, and I really am not happy about it. I've spent too long of a period of time thinking about these negative ideas, and I know that its starting to affect me. I know that some of my thoughts are just plain implausible, but its the ones that hit close to home that have been bugging me. Because I know that there's either an inevitability that they will happen in a period of time, or that they simply have a great chance of occurring. I think I just need to tell the world that my mind isn't a fun place right now. I know I'm overthinking right now. Its just a matter of time before I come to my senses and stop. And I'd like that to be now. I'll let you all know.
The Here And Now
This summer has been unlike any other summer I've had the pleasure of experiencing. What started off as a bland, ordinary (if somewhat chilly) season, ended with my life headed in a new direction, out of the monotony I've experienced for the past two years in community college. Now don't get me wrong; these last years have been absolutely incredible. So much has happened, good, bad, and just kind of run-of-the-mill. But when it comes down to it, I've been in a sort of rut. I've had no direction in terms of my future. Yes, I've really wanted to get into youth ministry, and everyone's always told me I'd do great in the field of Information Technologies, but IT is not really been something I've actively worked towards making happen, and a job in ministry seems way far off. However, this season has been the turning point for so many things.
In these few months, so much has happened. I had the incredible privilege to counsel six awesome guys up at Hume Lake Christian Camps for a week, and by doing so, I learned far more than I ever have in that place before, and definitely learned a lot about myself and my ability to lead others responsibly. I learned to ride a motorcycle, and in the process, came to own one. I finally sat down and talked with a good friend who I've been confused and on edge with, and sorted things out. I made new friends. But out of everything that happened, meeting the person I'd soon end up being with
trumps it all. I met a girl named Erin, and in the process of getting to know her, I found myself wanting to do more than simply be her friend. Asking her out was the most nerve-racking thing I've ever done. But it was so worth it. I never thought I'd meet someone who was such a polar opposite of me, yet such a compliment to who I am and what I do. I honestly feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I feel like I finally have more than just personal motivation to get my life in order. Ironically, I've just had more than a couple doors open for a future career in the audio production world. I'm scared out of my wits as to how fast its developing, and I'm unsure as to how I should approach it.
There's an enormous amount of things happening right now, and I feel like I've been screaming through my everyday life at a 120 miles an hour nonstop for weeks. A huge amount of responsibility and independence is heading my way in the next few days, unlike anything I've experienced. I'm praying that I'll be able to keep it all together, as I know it will start getting quite hectic in the next few months. Despite all the complications however, I'm really happy with the way my life is going. I'm looking forward to the ridiculousness of this season, as I feel like it will most definitely be a defining time in my life. And guys, all you wonderful friends of mine, you're more than welcome to join the ride!
In these few months, so much has happened. I had the incredible privilege to counsel six awesome guys up at Hume Lake Christian Camps for a week, and by doing so, I learned far more than I ever have in that place before, and definitely learned a lot about myself and my ability to lead others responsibly. I learned to ride a motorcycle, and in the process, came to own one. I finally sat down and talked with a good friend who I've been confused and on edge with, and sorted things out. I made new friends. But out of everything that happened, meeting the person I'd soon end up being with
trumps it all. I met a girl named Erin, and in the process of getting to know her, I found myself wanting to do more than simply be her friend. Asking her out was the most nerve-racking thing I've ever done. But it was so worth it. I never thought I'd meet someone who was such a polar opposite of me, yet such a compliment to who I am and what I do. I honestly feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I feel like I finally have more than just personal motivation to get my life in order. Ironically, I've just had more than a couple doors open for a future career in the audio production world. I'm scared out of my wits as to how fast its developing, and I'm unsure as to how I should approach it.There's an enormous amount of things happening right now, and I feel like I've been screaming through my everyday life at a 120 miles an hour nonstop for weeks. A huge amount of responsibility and independence is heading my way in the next few days, unlike anything I've experienced. I'm praying that I'll be able to keep it all together, as I know it will start getting quite hectic in the next few months. Despite all the complications however, I'm really happy with the way my life is going. I'm looking forward to the ridiculousness of this season, as I feel like it will most definitely be a defining time in my life. And guys, all you wonderful friends of mine, you're more than welcome to join the ride!
A Length Of Time
I haven't posted anything here for a while. But I'm going to start to soon. A lot has gone on this summer, and I have a lot to say. Stay tuned my friends, this ride's not finished, or even close to being done.
The Focal Point
After posting the previous post a couple of minutes ago, I got to thinking and realized that things have actually been quite amazing lately. That I shouldn't be focusing on the random downtime that I have. Instead, I should be paying attention to the awesomeness that's happening all around me. I mean, come on, I freaking saw Switchfoot twice in the same weekend! I was able to worship like I haven't for quite a while with Phil Wickham last Thursday, and then to top it off, James was back and led worship like only he can last Sunday. Yeah, there's random "drama" that's apparently going on. Yeah, things have been slow this week. I just need to get over the recent slowness this week. Otherwise, everything's pretty much golden! I've got amazing friends, and even if they decide to be less friendly than they usually are, its not something that I've let get to me. I think I'll just list the incredible things that have happened recently. In no particular order:
-Phil Wickham!
-Lots of Rockband!
-The Del Mar Fair! (including friends, food, and rides)
-Switchfoot!
-The Bro-Am!
-Naps In The Sun :)
-Band Practice!
-Worship!
-Cool Customers :]
-Seeing James!
-Birthdays!
-NCT!
-Friends :D
And above all, God's amazingness.
I've been focusing on the negative today because, quite obviously, I haven't been focusing what matters.
-Phil Wickham!
-Lots of Rockband!
-The Del Mar Fair! (including friends, food, and rides)
-Switchfoot!
-The Bro-Am!
-Naps In The Sun :)
-Band Practice!
-Worship!
-Cool Customers :]
-Seeing James!
-Birthdays!
-NCT!
-Friends :D
And above all, God's amazingness.
I've been focusing on the negative today because, quite obviously, I haven't been focusing what matters.
Pfffft.....
As exciting and adventurous as this summer started out, its gotten rather dull. The monotony of these days filled with nothingness in between church, work, and random events is killing me. Watching TV and playing video games are not a legitimate way to spend a day. And dwelling on things I'd rather not for entire days is not exactly pleasant either. Not to mention the incredible temptation that arises from days I already know will lead nowhere.
Just The Right Amount Of Epic
I just saw Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and I have to say, I was more than impressed. If anything, the way I felt about this movie should have been the way I felt about the first one. It had more "HOLY CRAP, did that just really happen!?!" moments than I can count, and had the entire theater vocally cheering on Optimus Prime and his gang on several occasions. The failure of the original was gone. Yes, Shia LaBeouf talks his freaking head off more than necessary, no, the main heroine still can't act and is there for nothing more than makeout sessions, slow-mo running scenes, and modelling jeans. And there were most definitely more nauseating vertigo-inducing zoomed-in 360 degree shots than I care to remember. But when you see Decepticons and Autobots literally beating themselves to death, you forget about the fact that its all smoke and mirrors. The first movie really lacked the epic battles and scale that this movie amply provided. However, inappropriate jokes abound along with cheese-laden comic relief. I audibly groaned more than once. But even the lengthy dialog sections of the feature couldn't break it. Again, the astonishing action sequences hold the movie together from beginning to end. I really recommend seeing this one while its still in theaters. I can strongly say that this film was much more than everything I had hoped the first one would be (and was more than disappointed when it wasn't).
Messing Around
From an IRC chat server:
#127039 +(10700)- [X]
-wolf- 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
-wolf- 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
-wolf- 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
-wolf- 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
-wolf- 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
-wolf- I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
-wolf- Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.
Thanks for the laughs Nathan!
#127039 +(10700)- [X]
-wolf- 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
-wolf- 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
-wolf- 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
-wolf- 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
-wolf- 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
-wolf- I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
-wolf- Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.
Thanks for the laughs Nathan!
A Hard Day's Work
Its been a while since I've had a day of labor-intensive, backbreaking, hard work. But today the summer interns, Tim, Will, and myself sledgehammered and jack hammered a patio to literal pieces all day. It wasn't exhausting, but tiring work. My hands definitely took a major toll today, (it hurts quite a bit to simply be typing this), but I think it was well worth the pain and sweat. We finished up the whole thing finally, with a pile of rubble and exposed dirt to testify for our day of productivity. Its really cool to be able to see the end product of a fair day's work. Very cool indeed. Hooray for physical labor!
