I've Gotta Feeling

Tonight was a good night. Really good.

Our God

Our God, is an Awesome God,
He reigns, from Heaven above,
With wisdom, power, and love,
Our God is an Awesome God


(bear with it until a minute in, it only gets better after that)

Magnificence Perfected

I just rode home, and on the way had the privilege of witnessing the most stunning image I've seen for a very long time. The sky was blue, but within a minute's time, the sun fell behind a lone cloud, and lit everything up with colors I wouldn't do justice by describing with words. The clouds started to shift, all while the sun continued its decent into the sea. Each minute had its own unique shapes, shades, shadows, and beams of light flooding through the sky. A skilled and talented artist can reproduce a split second of the beauty I saw, but God's painting in the sky surpassed anything a mere human could ever create. I am in awe.

Promise

For some reason, I seem to go through phases of my life in which I become farther from God than I would like to be. Detached, alone, usually doing fine, but not where I should be. And its not until I need Him that I realize how very far I have put myself from the One I should always be closest to. But what never fails to amaze me is that once I've put myself in line with God again, is how fast He works to show me that He's there. And its always the small things. I've found that in my life, God usually works in ways that are subtle, unseen. And when He shows me the work He's done, its always a "wow" moment for me. But even then, sometimes He just gives me such hope through the most random things. In the movie V for Vendetta, the character Evey says a line that while cheesy, is so applicable; "God is in the rain". God is in the small things. We've built up such grandeur and excellence all around us, that we expect God to do the same. When really, I think we all forget that God already HAS. Creation anyone? We're sitting, breathing, hearing, touching, smelling, and simply being surrounded by His creation right now. So why would God not use His masterpiece to communicate with us? God told Elijah to wait on a mountainside for Him to pass by, and a raging fire, a massive earthquake, and a torrential wind all tore apart the mountainside. But God wasn't in any of them. He was in what the Bible describes simply as a "whisper". Today, it stated raining for a little while. And in the warmth of the humid air, with the feeling of the rain hitting my face and arms was one of the closest times I've spent with God for some time. And later, when I walked outside again, two magnificent rainbows were shining in the sky, saying one simple message. That God promised.

The Road Home

God coming through for me. A theme in my life that I often overlook until it happens time and time again. When times are rough, when I don't know what to do anymore, when I'm at my wit's end, God never fails to show up and help me through whatever tough time I've been having at the moment. And even though I've kept it bottled up for the past month or so, the stress of having my folks leave, school starting, work becoming drama-full, Erin being away from me, and so many things all calling for my time and attention 24/7 has finally filled all the space I have to hold it, and I'm simply feeling completely overwhelmed. Yet as I was riding home from school, thinking over the message I'm going to give the Jr. Highers tonight, I started off on a tangent, and God really hit me with the realization that I've been doing it all on my own recently. I haven't fit Him into my schedule, I haven't asked Him for support or help through all this ridiculousness. And so when I got home, I sat and prayed for that. For God's hand in figuring this whole mess out. And while its nothing near being unsorted, He's given me a peace about my life. And I know that with Him, I can make it. Yet again, God has come through. And while it may not be an instant thing, I know He's here for the first time in a bit, helping me along. Picking up the pieces of my life that I simply cannot hold right now. He's always been there, but I never gave Him my burden to help me lift. I'm glad I moved over and gave Him a handhold though. I know that everything's going to be okay.

Overthinking

I've found my mind wandering to some pretty unpleasant places in the past few days, and I really am not happy about it. I've spent too long of a period of time thinking about these negative ideas, and I know that its starting to affect me. I know that some of my thoughts are just plain implausible, but its the ones that hit close to home that have been bugging me. Because I know that there's either an inevitability that they will happen in a period of time, or that they simply have a great chance of occurring. I think I just need to tell the world that my mind isn't a fun place right now. I know I'm overthinking right now. Its just a matter of time before I come to my senses and stop. And I'd like that to be now. I'll let you all know.

The Here And Now

This summer has been unlike any other summer I've had the pleasure of experiencing. What started off as a bland, ordinary (if somewhat chilly) season, ended with my life headed in a new direction, out of the monotony I've experienced for the past two years in community college. Now don't get me wrong; these last years have been absolutely incredible. So much has happened, good, bad, and just kind of run-of-the-mill. But when it comes down to it, I've been in a sort of rut. I've had no direction in terms of my future. Yes, I've really wanted to get into youth ministry, and everyone's always told me I'd do great in the field of Information Technologies, but IT is not really been something I've actively worked towards making happen, and a job in ministry seems way far off. However, this season has been the turning point for so many things.

In these few months, so much has happened. I had the incredible privilege to counsel six awesome guys up at Hume Lake Christian Camps for a week, and by doing so, I learned far more than I ever have in that place before, and definitely learned a lot about myself and my ability to lead others responsibly. I learned to ride a motorcycle, and in the process, came to own one. I finally sat down and talked with a good friend who I've been confused and on edge with, and sorted things out. I made new friends. But out of everything that happened, meeting the person I'd soon end up being with trumps it all. I met a girl named Erin, and in the process of getting to know her, I found myself wanting to do more than simply be her friend. Asking her out was the most nerve-racking thing I've ever done. But it was so worth it. I never thought I'd meet someone who was such a polar opposite of me, yet such a compliment to who I am and what I do. I honestly feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I feel like I finally have more than just personal motivation to get my life in order. Ironically, I've just had more than a couple doors open for a future career in the audio production world. I'm scared out of my wits as to how fast its developing, and I'm unsure as to how I should approach it.

There's an enormous amount of things happening right now, and I feel like I've been screaming through my everyday life at a 120 miles an hour nonstop for weeks. A huge amount of responsibility and independence is heading my way in the next few days, unlike anything I've experienced. I'm praying that I'll be able to keep it all together, as I know it will start getting quite hectic in the next few months. Despite all the complications however, I'm really happy with the way my life is going. I'm looking forward to the ridiculousness of this season, as I feel like it will most definitely be a defining time in my life. And guys, all you wonderful friends of mine, you're more than welcome to join the ride!

A Length Of Time

I haven't posted anything here for a while. But I'm going to start to soon. A lot has gone on this summer, and I have a lot to say. Stay tuned my friends, this ride's not finished, or even close to being done.

The Focal Point

After posting the previous post a couple of minutes ago, I got to thinking and realized that things have actually been quite amazing lately. That I shouldn't be focusing on the random downtime that I have. Instead, I should be paying attention to the awesomeness that's happening all around me. I mean, come on, I freaking saw Switchfoot twice in the same weekend! I was able to worship like I haven't for quite a while with Phil Wickham last Thursday, and then to top it off, James was back and led worship like only he can last Sunday. Yeah, there's random "drama" that's apparently going on. Yeah, things have been slow this week. I just need to get over the recent slowness this week. Otherwise, everything's pretty much golden! I've got amazing friends, and even if they decide to be less friendly than they usually are, its not something that I've let get to me. I think I'll just list the incredible things that have happened recently. In no particular order:

-Phil Wickham!
-Lots of Rockband!
-The Del Mar Fair! (including friends, food, and rides)
-Switchfoot!
-The Bro-Am!
-Naps In The Sun :)
-Band Practice!
-Worship!
-Cool Customers :]
-Seeing James!
-Birthdays!
-NCT!
-Friends :D

And above all, God's amazingness.

I've been focusing on the negative today because, quite obviously, I haven't been focusing what matters.

Pfffft.....

As exciting and adventurous as this summer started out, its gotten rather dull. The monotony of these days filled with nothingness in between church, work, and random events is killing me. Watching TV and playing video games are not a legitimate way to spend a day. And dwelling on things I'd rather not for entire days is not exactly pleasant either. Not to mention the incredible temptation that arises from days I already know will lead nowhere.