Feelings, Thoughts, and Conclusions

A lot has been happening with me personally in the past week, and its taken me on an emotional roller coaster that I can't say I've enjoyed. I don't believe that the exact details of what's been going on are important for the world wide web to know, but I've been needing to write things down for a little bit. I think only in one or two past experiences have I ever been as sad, depressed, confused, hopeful, happy, elated, content, despaired, and okay as I have been in these past couple of days. What I've found however, is that amongst the feeling that I've lost something, is a hope that something good can come out of this. It may not be what my plans were, and if anything, God's really been showing me in the past months that my plans are not the ones He has in store for me. But as I pray for His healing and strength every day, I find consolation in the idea that He knows what's best for me, even when I have not a clue as to what He's trying to do with me. Its like that trust-building activity, where you close your eyes, fold your hands over your chest, and fall backwards into the hands of the person behind you. I'm falling backwards right now, and I scrambled at first, but now I have the absolute trust that God will catch me. I'm in a mourning process right now, but I pray that I am only missing and saddened by the loss of but one area of something that was much deeper to begin with. A conversation needs to take place; not right now, as time needs to continue to level my head first, but later, when a positive, and God-fulfilling avenue of communication can happen. I have a trust that God knows what He's doing, but I also have a hope that what a friend once told me is true: there are no goodbyes, simply, "see you later"s.