The Road Home

God coming through for me. A theme in my life that I often overlook until it happens time and time again. When times are rough, when I don't know what to do anymore, when I'm at my wit's end, God never fails to show up and help me through whatever tough time I've been having at the moment. And even though I've kept it bottled up for the past month or so, the stress of having my folks leave, school starting, work becoming drama-full, Erin being away from me, and so many things all calling for my time and attention 24/7 has finally filled all the space I have to hold it, and I'm simply feeling completely overwhelmed. Yet as I was riding home from school, thinking over the message I'm going to give the Jr. Highers tonight, I started off on a tangent, and God really hit me with the realization that I've been doing it all on my own recently. I haven't fit Him into my schedule, I haven't asked Him for support or help through all this ridiculousness. And so when I got home, I sat and prayed for that. For God's hand in figuring this whole mess out. And while its nothing near being unsorted, He's given me a peace about my life. And I know that with Him, I can make it. Yet again, God has come through. And while it may not be an instant thing, I know He's here for the first time in a bit, helping me along. Picking up the pieces of my life that I simply cannot hold right now. He's always been there, but I never gave Him my burden to help me lift. I'm glad I moved over and gave Him a handhold though. I know that everything's going to be okay.

Overthinking

I've found my mind wandering to some pretty unpleasant places in the past few days, and I really am not happy about it. I've spent too long of a period of time thinking about these negative ideas, and I know that its starting to affect me. I know that some of my thoughts are just plain implausible, but its the ones that hit close to home that have been bugging me. Because I know that there's either an inevitability that they will happen in a period of time, or that they simply have a great chance of occurring. I think I just need to tell the world that my mind isn't a fun place right now. I know I'm overthinking right now. Its just a matter of time before I come to my senses and stop. And I'd like that to be now. I'll let you all know.

The Here And Now

This summer has been unlike any other summer I've had the pleasure of experiencing. What started off as a bland, ordinary (if somewhat chilly) season, ended with my life headed in a new direction, out of the monotony I've experienced for the past two years in community college. Now don't get me wrong; these last years have been absolutely incredible. So much has happened, good, bad, and just kind of run-of-the-mill. But when it comes down to it, I've been in a sort of rut. I've had no direction in terms of my future. Yes, I've really wanted to get into youth ministry, and everyone's always told me I'd do great in the field of Information Technologies, but IT is not really been something I've actively worked towards making happen, and a job in ministry seems way far off. However, this season has been the turning point for so many things.

In these few months, so much has happened. I had the incredible privilege to counsel six awesome guys up at Hume Lake Christian Camps for a week, and by doing so, I learned far more than I ever have in that place before, and definitely learned a lot about myself and my ability to lead others responsibly. I learned to ride a motorcycle, and in the process, came to own one. I finally sat down and talked with a good friend who I've been confused and on edge with, and sorted things out. I made new friends. But out of everything that happened, meeting the person I'd soon end up being with trumps it all. I met a girl named Erin, and in the process of getting to know her, I found myself wanting to do more than simply be her friend. Asking her out was the most nerve-racking thing I've ever done. But it was so worth it. I never thought I'd meet someone who was such a polar opposite of me, yet such a compliment to who I am and what I do. I honestly feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I feel like I finally have more than just personal motivation to get my life in order. Ironically, I've just had more than a couple doors open for a future career in the audio production world. I'm scared out of my wits as to how fast its developing, and I'm unsure as to how I should approach it.

There's an enormous amount of things happening right now, and I feel like I've been screaming through my everyday life at a 120 miles an hour nonstop for weeks. A huge amount of responsibility and independence is heading my way in the next few days, unlike anything I've experienced. I'm praying that I'll be able to keep it all together, as I know it will start getting quite hectic in the next few months. Despite all the complications however, I'm really happy with the way my life is going. I'm looking forward to the ridiculousness of this season, as I feel like it will most definitely be a defining time in my life. And guys, all you wonderful friends of mine, you're more than welcome to join the ride!

A Length Of Time

I haven't posted anything here for a while. But I'm going to start to soon. A lot has gone on this summer, and I have a lot to say. Stay tuned my friends, this ride's not finished, or even close to being done.