Life's Random Little Happenings: November 2009

Whereas this video pretty much sums up how ridiculously fun the trip that I just went on in the Anza Borrego desert was, it doesn't nearly describe how great it actually was. I'll write on it later most likely (don't hold me to that). The short version pretty much goes like this: less than a week's planning, 30 bucks a person, 1 freakish off-road vehicle, 35 gallons of gas, 4 fun-loving adventurous friends, an empty desert, a water-less oasis, anthill demolition, off-roading shenanigans, a friendly old couple, dead ends, the Diablo Drop-Off, stuck FJ Cruiser, Sandstone Canyon, a cactus with a mission, loud music, firewood, friendly FJ Cruiser guys again, setting up camp, making fire happen (match + napkin + gas-soaked logs = :D ), instant noodles, night-time Jeep surfing, mud-caving, exploration, a wash, small mud cave, real-life Raiders of the Lost Ark, walking on the moon, returning underground, s'mores, glowstick murder, the universe, sleep <--freezing, sleeping in, breakfast, packing, more off-roading, Julian, home!

(Okay, not so short, but now you see why I'm hesitant to commit a whole post to it)

Laziness & Procrastination

Why the heck has laziness been attacking me so hardcore lately? I have a million and one things to do, but I find that my plans and responsibilities have continually been thwarted not by third-party circumstances, but by me. I don't know why it is that I only procrastinate when I have a ton of things that I need to do. Its almost like I stop and stare at everything, and get overwhelmed to a point where I actually end up doing nothing at all. Why can't I stop this cycle? I have too many crucial things to do in the next week, and I can't let this get in the way.

Inexplicable

I'm in this weird mood and mindset, and I really don't know how to explain or express it. Its most definitely not bad, negative, or anything of that sort, its just.. odd. I just can't say I've experienced it before. I wish I could explain it though; its been driving me nuts that I can't categorize it. I don't think I want it to go away though. I kind of like it.

Pure Joy

I am so inexplicably grateful that God has allowed me to have Him in my life.

The Best Musical Purchase Ever

Needle and Haystack Life
Mess of Me
Your Love Is a Song
The Sound
Enough to Let Me Go
Free
Hello Hurricane
Always
Bullet Soul
Yet
Sing It Out
Red Eyes

I don't buy music. Ever. In fact, I've purchased maybe two, make that three, physical albums in my entire lifetime. So know that it means something when I bought my first CD in four years, and that that CD was Switchfoot's new album Hello Hurricane. I love this album in its entirety.

Feelings, Thoughts, and Conclusions

A lot has been happening with me personally in the past week, and its taken me on an emotional roller coaster that I can't say I've enjoyed. I don't believe that the exact details of what's been going on are important for the world wide web to know, but I've been needing to write things down for a little bit. I think only in one or two past experiences have I ever been as sad, depressed, confused, hopeful, happy, elated, content, despaired, and okay as I have been in these past couple of days. What I've found however, is that amongst the feeling that I've lost something, is a hope that something good can come out of this. It may not be what my plans were, and if anything, God's really been showing me in the past months that my plans are not the ones He has in store for me. But as I pray for His healing and strength every day, I find consolation in the idea that He knows what's best for me, even when I have not a clue as to what He's trying to do with me. Its like that trust-building activity, where you close your eyes, fold your hands over your chest, and fall backwards into the hands of the person behind you. I'm falling backwards right now, and I scrambled at first, but now I have the absolute trust that God will catch me. I'm in a mourning process right now, but I pray that I am only missing and saddened by the loss of but one area of something that was much deeper to begin with. A conversation needs to take place; not right now, as time needs to continue to level my head first, but later, when a positive, and God-fulfilling avenue of communication can happen. I have a trust that God knows what He's doing, but I also have a hope that what a friend once told me is true: there are no goodbyes, simply, "see you later"s.