Purpose

This Christmas Eve has been one of such incredible insight. Through the course of these past 24 hours, I have felt more alive than I have for a very long time. And you know why? Its because I have a PURPOSE again. I have a reason to keep on going, a reason to strive ever onwards. This period of coasting in stagnant waters for ever so long is finally behind me, and a new beginning is in front of me. I have a job, I'm starting a savings account, I finally chose that school I'm going to be attending for the next two years, and am working on trying to get housing at said location. - -- -------, --- --- ----- ---- -- -- ----, ----- -- -- ---------- ------ --- ------ ---- --- ---- - ---- -------- ---. (Ain't redaction great?) I feel like I have so much to live and work for. And I've given some very important things to God. If there's one thing that's effected me today, it was what Pastor Doug said at the Christmas Eve service about the wise men: that they didn't bring things to Christ that they thought He'd want or need, they brought was was most valuable to them to Him. So this Christmas season (ie: tonight), I've given what I currently hold most valuable to God. Its a scary proposition, but one that couldn't be more RIGHT. And it is such a load off of my heart and soul. Because who else could take better care of things? I'm so glad to be alive. So glad to have a purpose, so glad to be okay with how things are. Merry Christmas everyone, Merry Christmas.

Decisions

Today is a day of decisions. Multiple decisions. Big decisions.

These are going to radically change my life depending on how they all play out. I've put a lot of prayer into these, and am continuing to do so. Its all in the Lord's hands now; as once He's given me His advice and wisdom, all I can do is act upon that. I'm not going to lie, its a scary time. But also a time that could mean the start of some incredible new things. Let's just hope that things go well, yeah?

Late

I feel like I just missed the bus.

Half-Awakened

I am still. Silent. Within my closed eyelids darkness is the only reality. The noises surrounding me ignored, I hear my own heart beat. Slow. Steady. Powerful. Blood rushes through my veins: I am alive. So very alive. A slight breeze brings me back to reality. With a single intentional breath inward, air courses into my lungs. Sweet, life-giving oxygen. And when my chest seems like it might burst from the force, I exhale with just as much purpose. My eyes suddenly whip open; a world of color and beauty snaps into focus. Skyscrapers rise like an endless forest in the distance, busy streets curl around their bases far below. The sun approaches the horizon in a deliberate fashion, shooting beams of red-orange fire through the atmosphere. Thousands of stories off the ground my feet begin moving as if possessed by something foreign. Placing one foot in front of the other, my legs pump incessantly, an unstoppable force vying to meet an impossible end. The ledge approaches faster and faster still. With my entire body working as one singular entity, with doubt being a concept seeming to have been forgotten, with every fiber of my being screaming for the same conclusion, I leap. I launch myself into the air. Up. Over. Long forgotten, the ledge disappears far behind. Freedom resonates through each cell of my body; a full chorus of endless bliss. The gentle breeze transforms into a maelstrom of fury. Arms tucked to my sides, legs straight as they can bend, I rocket downward. A building comes up from the depths of the concrete jungle, and with a flex of my muscles it flies by as if it, not I, were moving with an every-increasing swiftness. A tuck of my knees brings me into a rolling somersault through the sky, and as the invert completes itself, a quick movement to open my legs and arms allows the fabric underneath to crack into place. Without warning, my reality is ripped upwards. Forward motion is achieved within half of a heartbeat. My dance with terminal velocity has ended; my affair with flying has only just begun. The ground is suddenly no longer a deadly rival in allegiance with the clock. A smile comes to my lips. Two structures loom closer, and with a skilled dive I manage to swoop through the deceptively large clearing between the twin columns of steel. Having descended well below the summits of the mighty architectural landmarks, a new challenge has presented itself. I gladly accept. Just as I plunge towards the first opening cut out by the streets far below, an alarm. Blaring. Thunderous. Deafening. My world begins to rip itself apart. The mighty skyscrapers are crashing forever downwards. The air itself begins to boil. And then, in a flash of light, matter itself is dissolved like a roll of film overexposed to the brilliance daylight. My eyes open: I am awake.