On Faith

People like to think they're right about things. I do. You do. Chances are you know a lot of people that do too. We like the good feeling we get when someone asks us a question and we happen to know all about that subject. We butt into conversations in public when two people are talking and end up clueless about something. But I think a huge component to this mighty issue of pride are things we ourselves hold to be true. The solid "rocks" we've built our entire philosophical view of life around. When someone challenges one of these; we immediately object. We get a gut feeling of annoyance, and sometimes, of anger. "That they could even say such a thing!" And the main boulder in our foundation of our logic, our reasoning, and our understanding of everything we "know" to be true hinges on whether or not God is real. For those of us who believe with our entire being He's out there, solid evidence against that would send us into a tailspin. For those of us who trust wholly in empirical science; solid proof that God does indeed exist would rock every foundation of our lives. It all comes down to the start: the beginning of our universe. Scientifically, we can look back and understand what happened. Matter can't be created, so before the "Big Bang", the "Great Sneeze", the “Creation” (whatever you may call it) of the Universe, all matter existed within a singularity. Stuffed within the smallest unit of measurement. The lowest common denominator.

Let’s take a break to make an example. The example of a nuclear bomb. What causes such a power, such a destructive force? The splitting of an atom. A tiny, tiny, tiny object. And when shattered, produces enough energy to reduce even the proudest of cities to rubble.

So now let us think of this original singularity. Within it was the matter of the ENTIRE Universe. Yet it still tried to pull into itself. Finally, it split itself. The energy of unimaginable force ruptured, and hurled what is now the entirety of everything we know outward. And today, it’s still flying. Eventually; eventually, it will stop. Slowed down and drawn in once again by its own gravitational pull. If we forget about the insane amounts of time represented, we can focus on the process. The Universe will start moving in on itself, eventually stuffing everything once again into that unimaginably tiny singularity. And eventually, it will happen again. The very speck itself will continue to try and draw itself into itself, and eventually once again split. And once again, the universe will be born. How many times has this happened? Was our “Big Bang” the first? The cycle will continue infinitely, that much we know. And this is where our conundrum comes in. Matter can’t come into or out of existence. It just IS. Every fundament of science points to this fact. Science can’t explain where everything came from. So, it must have always been right? The simple fact is that when it all comes down to it, it is a matter of faith. Faith that matter indeed has always existed, that this cosmic cycle of epic proportions continues to repeat itself. But let me say this now: God too is a matter of faith. I can’t prove to you that He exists, that what I say are “His” works are actually His. Just like I can’t prove to you that our Universe was a product of continuous expansion and contraction. We know nothing of the beginning, only that it happened. It takes faith to believe that the matter of the universe has infinitely existed, continuing its cycle over and over. It also takes faith to believe that God was the cause of the beginning of the universe; willing matter into being. Neither can be proved. Neither can be measured. They both have radically different standings. So when you hear the common argument over where everything comes from, think long and hard about what you know to be true. You may denounce God, but really, how can you through science? It goes both ways. You can’t prove God. Therefore you can’t disprove Him. A trust in science requires as much faith when it comes down to it as a trust in God. Neither is above the other. Neither can be proven through our ways of proving. I believe wholeheartedly that God created this existence. His methods? I have absolutely no clue. You may believe in the scientific creation of the universe. It very well may be true. But if God truly does exist as I believe He does, who is to say that this all powerful being could not create everything we know (and don’t yet know) as aged? It’s an endless debate. One that can’t be won by either side. So take a deep look at what you hold to be true. And you may very well realize that when everything is stripped away, whatever it may be, it ALL; simply; comes down to faith.

Love

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

We have three things to do to lead us forwards: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. But the most important of these three is love.

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On a side note; I just finished reading Redeeming Love for the second time. I brings me to me knees knowing that God loves me as much as He does. I don't deserve it in the least bit, yet there He is. All I can ask for is that if someone ever comes into my life for good, that I can follow the bolded portion above. There is nothing greater.

The Beauty Of It All

The sun is shining its glorious rays upon San Diego, and every tiny little thing it touches can't help but sing out with a joy that only something like the warmth of sunlight can bring. The birds are in full chorus, the wind wisps by in a carefree way bringing with it tendrils of heat and smells of rejoicing plants. The air pulses like something alive, and the sky proclaims its glory with a stunning hue of color only seen when the Earth truly awakens and comes to life. Something is stirring within me, and with each breath of pure, intoxicating air coursing through me, I feel as if I become just that much more alive. Joy is bursting from every corner of my being. The glory of which God has made is far beyond imagination.

The Send Off

I just had to say goodbye to my best friend. I know he'll be back, and I know I'll see him again, but that doesn't change the fact that its still really hard. He's been within a fifteen minute drive's reach since 7th grade; its hard to believe he'll be on the other side of the continent for this next year. I miss you man. That's never going to change until you get back.

Stressed

I'm in between a rock and a hard place. Because of my history teacher; I actually know what that means now; and where it originated from. Though I can't say I'm in the same conundrum as Odysseus was when he had to choose between a whirlpool named Charybdis and Scylla the man-eating monster. Point being: I'm stressed out.

An Observation

It would seem that we, the American people, cannot stand the way things are in our own lives currently. We don't like who we are. We want to be somebody else. Or at least that's what I've been gathering from a recent slew of movies that have come out. I'm talking Avatar, Surrogates, and Gamer to name a few. These movies focus on allowing people to live out their lives away from the reality of their actual lives, through the control of anything from a hardened criminal, to a robot, to an 8 foot tall Na'vi. In Avatar, we see a crippled marine gain back his legs, and ultimately his individuality. In Gamer (absolutely terrible movie; please don't waste two hours seeing it), people control criminals in a real life "video game" deathmatch. They also can control people in a social setting with no rules; much like a real life Second Life. Finally, in Surrogates, people own robotic copies of themselves that they live their daily lives through. In each of these films, people get a "second chance" of sorts. And they become addicted to it helplessly. They loose sight of their actual life, and become caught up in the "fantasy world" presented by the alternative body. Its not terribly far off however. Today, people become ensnared by virtual worlds; World of Warcraft, Second Life, Everquest, even The Sims. What is it about the idea of a second body that is so incredibly addicting and appealing? I was addicted to video games at one point; I know what that's like. But to spend your entire life as some(thing) else? Are people that dissatisfied with themselves? I can understand Jake Sully's position in Avatar; heck, I'd say I'm even a little jealous. But the other two examples just make me want to cry; because I can see our society falling into that hole so quickly and without a single care. God gave us our lives, our bodies, our talents, our abilities, our strong suites, our weaknesses, and our downfalls. They are each something unique to each of us. Its like saying, "God, its cool that You, the Creator of the universe, made me, but you know.. I think I can do better" God made us US, and it would be a crime to hide yourself behind something entirely not you.

Waiting 'Till The Shine Wears Off

I feel like when you meet a person, there's this crazy first impression you get of them. You've already decided if you think they're likable or not, if you could potentially be friends with them, if you might get along, and whatnot. What I've found though, is how hard it is to shake that initial imprint. You continue to have that residual image of them in your head, and it takes quite a bit to go away. Call it a pair of "rose-colored glasses", a "feeling" as to why you don't like someone, or an indecisive "knot" in your gut that keeps you at an ambiguous place concerning that one particular person. Sometimes I feel that we even do this with friends we've known forever. When their name comes up in conversation, you have that initial reaction: ugh.., awesome!, ..huh, i can't wait!, or maybe just a simple indifference. I find the indifference to be a rarity though. When someone calls me on the phone, or I get a text, instant message, or email, I already have a certain mindset when I open the phone, read the email, or respond to the message. With friends, I believe that they earn this "reputation" (if you want to call it that), and that past events, known habits, old actions; these are what define this initial reaction. But with new people, what are you basing it off of? How they look? How they act? That vibe they give off? Their smile? I want so badly to remove that initial response, because that's pretty much guaranteed not to have come even close to how that person really is. I want to get to know the REAL person; to let those tinted glasses fall off, that initial gut feeling to fade, and that first impression to go out the window. But that takes time. Time that I'm willing to spend. Same goes the other way: I want people to get to know me beyond the first impression; flaws and all. I want people to know the real me. I don't want to be fake. The question is: are you, dear reader, willing to get to know who I really am? I'd say a good deal of you do. But if you don't, please get to know me. If you're in the process, I'm glad you're taking that effort. I don't want to know the "surface person" that people put about, and I don't want them to get to know mine; I want to know the real them, and for them to know the real me. Deal?

Skype

I love it. Lots.

What's On My Mind

I have a million and one thoughts running through my head right now. Good, bad, neutral, hopeful, confused, and so much more. How is it that things could have gotten so out of control? How is it that I can feel like such a failure? How is it that I have no idea what's going to happen? How is it that I'm terrified of the future? How is it that someone I've known but for almost three weeks has become so important? How is it that I'm so screwed financially? How is it that I'm such a terrible player at this game called life? How is it that I keep on going? How is it that I know God will always be there for me and never leave me?

I know the answers to most of the questions, but some still allude me. Its been an emotional and draining day. I'm glad that God gave me a chance to rest tonight. I can't do this without Him. I've got a lot on my plate. Keep me on the right path God, I can't afford to stray.